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  “Yes, Oklahoma, let’s hire a hayrack ride. Brown needs culture,” Kim deadpanned.

  Beth narrowed her eyes at Kim. “It was just a suggestion. I’m freezing.”

  “Don’t listen to Kim; she’s not even wearing a heavy coat,” I said, my teeth beginning to chatter.

  “You two are babies, gah!” Kim groaned.

  “It does sound like a hay ride,” Beth giggled.

  When we arrived, our study group was already waiting on us. Carrie and Tracey—from the basketball team—sat on one couch. On the adjacent couch sat Kim’s friends, Justin and Kristi. Lisa, a pre-med student, barely noticed our arrival, and beside her was someone I recognized right away.

  Ryan had a head full of dark hair, and he was barely taller than I. Because his T-shirt was a bit tight, I noticed his athletic build. His baseball cap was pulled low over his eyes, so I could see only his perfect, white smile and a deep dimple on his left cheek. The other girls in the group seemed to appreciate his presence.

  “Look at you, being all responsible!” Kim said.

  “Josh was going to come, but he ended up going on a date,” Ryan explained, pulling up his cap to display his bright green eyes.

  “Hmmm,” Kim hummed, angling her neck so I would get the full effect of her accusing expression.

  Beth did the same.

  Ryan was suddenly uncomfortable, his eyes darting back and forth between the three of us. “What did I say?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I grumbled, shouldering past Beth.

  I sat in the chasm between Ryan and Lisa. While everyone discussed their notes and how confused they were, Ryan turned to me.

  “Are you taking Chemistry? Do you get any of this?” he complained.

  “What are you having problems with?” I asked.

  He smiled. “You’re not having any problems, are you?”

  Feeling caught, I smiled and then erased a line toward the top of his paper. I explained his mistake and started writing it down in my own girlie script. “Do you see how I got there?”

  Ryan nodded, still unsure. “I see how you got there, getting there on my own is the persistent problem.”

  As the night wore on, I erased quite a bit on Ryan’s paper. We had hundreds of tiny shreds of decimated eraser all over us. His patience and humor made the night go much faster; although, I worked on his chemistry and didn’t study the notes I had brought.

  “I appreciate your helping me,” Ryan said, folding his paper into his book.

  “I’m not sure how much I helped, but you’re welcome. We have study group here twice a week. Come anytime.”

  Ryan’s face lit up. “I will. Thanks. Uh, some of us guys are going out for drinks this weekend. It’d be cool if you’d come.”

  “I can only get into a handful of places.”

  Ryan winked at me. “That won’t be a problem.”

  It sounded harmless enough. “That sounds fun. I’ll see what the girls are doing.”

  Kim looked at her watch and yawned. “Stick a fork in me. I’m done.”

  “Nigh, are you ready?” Beth asked.

  “Nigh?” Ryan asked with a raised eyebrow.

  I grimaced. “It’s a nickname they came up with to torture me. Don’t call me that.”

  “Noted,” he said.

  Kim laughed and shook her head at Ryan’s comment. “I’ve got to go.”

  Kim and I stood, waiting for Beth to gather her miniature office supply store.

  “This is why I don’t bring anything,” Kim said, gesturing to Beth.

  “You borrowed my pen!” Beth objected.

  “Oh, right,” Kim said, tossing the pen into Beth’s bag. “All packed.”

  Beth rolled her eyes and looked at me. “Will you put some tape on her mouth?”

  “I don’t think tape would help.” I grinned.

  We walked back to Andrews, and Kim waved good-bye, continuing to her room. I collapsed on my bed as Beth gathered her things to head to the showers. As I traced the imperfections of the ceiling with my eyes, my mind drifted to Jared. Not only had I gone from never seeing him to running into him regularly but it was as if I were seeing him at will.

  “Ryan asked you out for this weekend?” Beth burst in, towel-drying her hair.

  “No. He asked us out for this weekend. I guess some of his friends are going for drinks; he asked us to come along.”

  “What did you say?” she asked, suddenly interested.

  “I said it sounded like fun.”

  “You want to go?” she squealed.

  “I guess you do.” I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

  “Yes! I do! You wanna go? Please say yes!” she dropped to her knees beside me on my bed.

  “I want to go,” I deadpanned.

  Beth tackled me. “Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried.

  “You’re welcome! Now get off!” I laughed.

  ~*~

  The next day was warmer, a good day to take a walk off-campus. Providence transformed from a beautiful crystalline city of white into the soiled, wet mess the cars and mud quickly created. The pristine snow had become a gray-brown sludge lining the roadways and sidewalks. I happily slipped on my black-and-white fleur-de-lis galoshes and stomped through the slush in hopes of proving my sheer-will theory concerning Jared.

  After an hour of walking, the sun no longer kept me warm. I slipped into the first coffee shop I came upon and ordered the largest size offered, thawing by the window.

  It occurred to me how ridiculous I had become; walking around in near-arctic temperatures to see if Jared would materialize. I was the future savvy CEO of Providence’s premiere shipping company for the love of all things holy! What kind of crackpot had I turned into? Over a boy? An incredibly attractive, intelligent, courteous, well-dressed, fantastic-smelling boy, but he was just a boy. Man. Boy. They were all boys.

  When I felt the blood circulating again in my fingertips, I made my way back to the school. It was closer to sunset than I would have liked so far from campus, so I quickened my pace.

  Two blocks from the school, I pressed the button at the light and kept my distance from the corner, fearful of the inevitable splashing of the cars passing by. The light changed, and I trotted across, noting that the warmth from my coffee was waning.

  Before I made it to the halfway point of the crosswalk, a car horn blared beside me. I jumped, and my eyes darted to the light. It was still green. I turned to glare at the offending vehicle, but my eyes widened when a black Escalade came into view. Jared waved, quivering from a barrage of laughter.

  I wasn’t sure if I was annoyed or euphoric, but the mixture of emotions propelled me to the passenger side of his car. I whipped open his door and climbed in.

  “You scared me to death!” I said, slamming the door behind me.

  “I’m sorry!” Jared exclaimed, trying to keep the corners of his mouth from turning up.

  The light turned green and he looked at me. “You want a ride?”

  I stared at him blank-faced. “Seriously? I’m in your car.”

  He shrugged and pulled forward.

  “You look frozen,” he said, touching the end of my nose. That one tap sent adrenaline running throughout my body, and I felt nothing but warmth. He reached for the knobs under his radio and twisted the heat to its highest setting.

  “I went for a walk,” I said, unable to subdue the ridiculous grin on my face.

  “I see that,” he frowned, disapproving.

  “Where are you on your way to?”

  “To pick up a client,” he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

  “Are you always this vague?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You’re full of piss and vinegar today.”

  “May I remind you that you honked at me in the middle of a busy street? I could have been killed.”

  “Doubtful. The light was on our side.” I dwelled on how he said ‘our’ for a moment.

  “Let’s not discount the possible rabi
d motorists flying through the wet intersection. My hesitation caused by your honking could have led to some serious sidewalk chalk drawings.”

  Jared laughed. “Are you sure you shouldn’t apply for law school? You have quite an imagination.”

  “So I’ve been told.” I grinned.

  “What are you doing this weekend?”

  “I’m having drinks with some friends. I would invite you, but I assume you’ll be there.” I watched for a guilty or stunned expression at my comment, but I was quickly disappointed.

  “You’re not old enough to drink.” He grimaced, ignoring my accusation.

  I leaned closer to him. “We don’t tell the bartender that,” I whispered.

  Jared’s expression twisted into frustration. “Am I going to have to make an appointment with you for dinner?”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s called a date.”

  He smiled his amazing smile, and I tried not to gasp. It was hard being candid with him when he was so stunning. I felt as if I had car-jacked a film star.

  “Would you like my number?” I asked without thinking. A wave of embarrassment washed over me as soon as the words left my mouth.

  He didn’t answer right away; instead, he let out a long sigh. I felt the heat rise on my face, starting at my neck and surpassing my eyes until it scorched the roots of my hair.

  “I don’t have to give you my number. I just meant . . .”

  “Are you all right?” Jared said. He watched me as if he thought I would break down into tears at any moment.

  I could only nod as he slowed to a stop behind Andrews. I didn’t dare look at him. I fumbled with the handle and then felt his hand on my arm.

  “Nina?” He reached around to cradle my jaw and turned me to face him. “Don’t be upset. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I’m sorry. I . . . I think I misunderstood.” I bit my lip, drawing his attention to them.

  He leaned in closer; his eyes still focused on my mouth. When he was just a few inches from me, he shook his head and pulled back.

  The blood rushed in from every inch of my body, and my feet tingled as the adrenaline rushed through them and then disappeared. I had been wrong. What I had taken to be flirtation or attraction must have been more of a fondness for me. He looked at me as a little sister, and I had made my misconception all too clear.

  I opened the door, hopping out into a shallow puddle. The motor of the Escalade still hummed behind me as I pressed the door closed and walked to Andrews, too humiliated to look back.

  3. Suspicion(s)

  I didn’t leave campus again until Beth, Kim, and I met Ryan and his friends for drinks in a pub downtown. When we arrived, I saw that it was less of a pub and more of a dingy hole in the wall, but it would serve our purpose.

  Tucker nodded to the bartender. “Hey, Tozzi.”

  Tozzi eyed our group as he dried the inside of a glass and nodded.

  We began with a shot and toasted to our mascot, “TO THE BIG BROWN BEAR!”

  I lost count of how many drinks I’d had. It was easy to do that with an open tab at the bar and Tucker ordering round after round. My cheeks were beginning to complain from the constant giggling and smiling, so I made fish faces to stretch them out. Ryan squeezed and pulled at my face as he laughed, having far more to drink than I had.

  Ryan spoke as quietly as a drunk person was capable, brushing my bangs from my eyes and laughing as if he should be hiccupping tiny bubbles with every word. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked.

  “A few times,” I replied.

  He grabbed each side of my face and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m glad you came, Nina. I never have this much fun.”

  Beth had just volunteered to call a cab when the door opened and I saw them. Jared walked in with a platinum-blond beauty. She was all of five feet four inches and clearly younger than I. Her lips were plush snowy banks glittering under her icy blue eyes. She moved with the confidence and precision of a runway model, disregarding our table as she strode by. Her hair was board-straight, barely grazing her shoulders, and her thick bangs hung just above her eyes. There was a tiny diamond piercing in the crease of her left nostril. I’d never seen anything like her in real life before. She looked like punk-rock Barbie with her heavy eye makeup, skintight clothing, and knee-high boots.

  Jared ignored us, too, as he followed her to the bar, and I felt something catch in my throat when he sat next to his companion.

  Kim grabbed my shoulder. “Does he know you’re here?”

  “I don’t think so,” I choked out.

  “What’s going on?” Ryan asked, seeing our reaction to the fair-haired couple at the bar.

  “That is the guy who’s been pursuing Nina,” Kim said, eyeing Jared with disgust.

  Ryan looked at me and nodded in Jared’s direction. “You’re dating that guy?”

  “No.” I stood up from the table. The door was just a few steps away, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.

  Tozzi took one look at the blonde Jared was with and shook his head. Jared whispered something in his ear and slid something across the counter, and the bartender walked away without further argument. The girl—and she was a girl—looked up at Jared with an annoyed expression. I clenched my teeth. He had chosen to be with her, and she was bored with him.

  Beth stumbled back to the table. “Cab’s on its way.”

  “Let’s wait outside,” Kim said, pulling me with her.

  Just before I looked away, Jared raised his eyes to meet mine. I was glad that he had seen me. Then he wouldn’t be so surprised at the fury I would unleash on him the next time we happened upon each other. My anger gave me the distraction I needed to turn away. I shook my head in heated disbelief that he’d shown up with such a fake-looking sl—

  My arm pulled in the wrong direction. “Nina, don’t go,” Jared said.

  “What are you doing here with her?” Beth sneered.

  I looked down at my arm and then glared up at Jared. He removed his gentle hold on me so as not to offend me further. “Just wait a minute. It’s not what you think.”

  “I don’t think anything,” I snapped.

  Jared sighed. “Yes, you do. If you would just give me a moment to explain . . .”

  In the next moment, Ryan was standing beside me, eyeing Jared. “She’s leaving. You need to step back,” Ryan said in a low, hostile voice.

  Jared turned his head away from us, laughing off the threat. He turned to scowl at Ryan, and I recoiled as his eyes turned from warm pools to steely blue.

  After a few tense moments, Jared looked down at me. His eyes softened again. “Nina, I don’t want you to leave upset. Just hear me out.”

  “I don’t think I will,” I said, turning away from him. His hand shot out to catch my arm once more. Ryan grabbed Jared’s arm, and I could see that in seconds the situation was going to escalate.

  A petite hand shot out and gripped Ryan’s wrist, bending it back just enough to incapacitate him. Ryan cried out in pain.

  A feminine but firm voice came from behind Jared. “I’m just going to tell you this once. Don’t put your hands on my brother.”

  “Okay! Okay!” Ryan begged.

  “All right, Claire, that’s enough,” Jared murmured, watching me. He sighed at the horror that emanated from my eyes as I watched her draw her hand back from Ryan’s.

  “This is my little sister, Claire,” Jared explained with chagrin.

  My eyes shot a confused look at Claire, searching for some sort of offense taken by her, but there was none. He was telling the truth.

  “Your sister?” I asked. From my peripheral vision, I could see Ryan rubbing his wrist.

  Claire watched Ryan, seeming both irritated and concerned, almost as if she had regretted hurting him. Jared noticed the way she looked at Ryan as well, and they traded a strange glance.

  “I didn’t want you to think . . .” Jared looked at me. “I’m sorry about the other day. It’s dif
ficult . . . .”

  Claire rolled her eyes and made her way to the bar. Jared whispered in her ear as she passed.

  “Behave yourself.”

  “Whatever,” she snapped.

  Claire made herself comfortable on the bar stool and ordered a water, keeping to herself. After a few moments, her eyes flashed to Ryan and then back down to her drink.

  Jared turned to me again, obviously wanting to pick up where we left off. His eyes wandered beside me to where Ryan was still standing.

  “It’s okay, Ryan,” I whispered, touching his arm. I noticed Jared stare at my hand as if it would burst into flames.

  “Okay?” Ryan repeated, still rubbing his wrist. I didn’t miss the edge of uneasiness in his voice.

  “Yeah,” I smiled.

  Ryan walked with Kim and Beth to the wall beside the door to join the rest of the group we came with. They all made a poor attempt to pretend they were watching for the cab.

  “What are you doing here, Jared?” I snapped my head back to meet his eyes. He muttered something under his breath, briefly surveying the room full of people who were staring at us. I cocked my head and leaned so that I was somewhat in his line of sight. “Jared?”

  “I didn’t want you to think I was with Claire. She insisted on coming in,” he said, looking back to me.

  “I’m not sure why you’re here at all.” I crossed my arms and glared at him.

  Jared noted the stubborn set of my chin and sighed. “I’m here because of what happened the other day. The look on your face when you walked away . . . I couldn’t just let you think that I didn’t . . . that I wasn’t . . .” He was struggling with the truth, and it was irritating me.

  “Just say it!”

  He winced at my tone. “I have these feelings for you. When I saw you over here with that same look on your face, I was afraid you’d never speak to me again if I didn’t explain.”

  “You have feelings for me?”

  His face fell. “I can’t get you out of my head.”

  That simple sentence had my heart pounding through my chest. He lightly cupped my jaw and brushed his thumb against my cheek. His touch sent a jolt of electricity throughout my body from my head to my toes.